Hey everyone!
I think it would be best to provide updates like this here and there detailing my descent into messing myself 24/7. It’s been just over two weeks and I haven’t touched the toilet for anything; I even shut off the water supply to it earlier this week! I don’t even use it to flush my poo down it. I just leave it in the diaper, tie it all up in a bag, then I take out the trash every night.
I haven’t had another one of those stomach aches that made me fill my diaper like last week, a fact that I’m really grateful for. Sitting in poo for that long wasn’t fun, but it was better than the alternative of trying my hardest to painfully hold it all in until I got home.
When I feel that familiar pressure in my bowels, instead of getting up to go use the potty like an adult, I’ve been either squatting down next to my bed or I settle down onto my legs, giving the back of my diaper enough room to expand. I do this on top of a disposable bedwetting underpad in case of leakage, too. Once I do the deed, I change immediately because standing up or sitting down just spreads the mess around; I did that a couple of times in the beginning of this challenge and it made cleanup take a lot longer. Messing myself squatting down makes cleanup so much easier when I can just untape my diaper and clean myself with wipes. I figured that I’m already going to wipe myself clean regardless of where my poop goes, after all.
The monthly usage, and in turn cost, of diapers has gone up because I’m obviously using more diapers. Ideally, I’d like to fully saturate my diaper before I use it for its other intended purpose, but that’s just not how the real world works. I’ve been messing my diapers before my morning showers, too, so cleaning up isn’t that hard especially when I have a shower to take. My day usually starts with me waking up in my normally soggy diaper. I wipe myself clean and change into another diaper to help me make it through breakfast, and I usually end up messing this diaper a little bit after I’m done eating. I take my shower and then change into my normal daytime diaper and go about my day as I normally would.
At the time of me writing this update, my messy diaper timer expires on October 23rd which is 86 days away, one week shy of Halloween. I had a feeling I’d get a little bit of time put on my timer, ya know, like maybe a couple of weeks, but almost three months?! It sounds like a lot and it feels like a lot, but I’m just taking it all one day at a time because it makes it easy on me. Thinking about messing myself for almost three full months just feels a bit overwhelming. The more I think about it, the more I question my dedication to this challenge, so I just stop thinking about it and just enjoy the positives of this exercise.
Adapting to messing 24/7 was a little hard at first but it’s getting easier. I had thought about changing into another cheaper diaper like a Tranquility ATN or something of similar quality to mess and then after cleaning myself, I would put my main diaper back on, but after some thought, I came to the conclusion that some people might consider that as cheating. I also need absolute protection when I do the deed, and I don’t really have that much faith in the ATNs compared to my regular diapers that have those awesome tall leak guards, so I feel most comfortable doing it in my regular diapers.
My health has been my number one concern doing this challenge. Poop contains a lot of bacteria, and since women have shorter urethras than men, we have a much higher chance of getting bladder infections and UTIs. If you’ve read my updated training guide, then you would know that I’ve already had to deal with a bladder infection a while ago. That’s part of the reason that I’ve been changing immediately after doing the deed; the other part is me being concerned about my skin’s health. It’s super hot and humid where I live, so staying cool, dry, and most importantly, clean down there is of the utmost importance.
Overall, I’m enjoying it a little more and more each day. I have an overwhelming feeling that I’m going to be stuck doing this for a lot longer than three months as each and every little thing sent to me from my wishlist will now add time onto the messy diaper timer, so I might as well get used to it, right?
1: Throw away all of your underwear (but keep your bras if you’re a lady!). This leaves you nothing but diapers to wear as underwear, and as we all know, wearing nothing down there can lead to some irritation. Not good for princess parts! Throwing away all of your undies ensures that you’ll have to wear diapers, and nothing but diapers. If you want to truly commit to this, then do that, or if you’re on the fence about it and want to try it out, stash all of your undies in a backpack or something that you can lock or put a lock on, then give that key to your bestie and have them not give it back until a week, two weeks, a month, or however long you feel like! 1a. Buy a large supply of diapers. I chose to go with the Abena M4 for starters, and have kept with it all the way through. For when you start dribbling (see below!), you can switch to a thinner diaper, like the cloth backed Abena M2. For lighter days, I’ve found that tena makes some decent diapers, same with Tranquility/Select...
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